M.I.A......

I have survived the first few months of this pregnancy. At times I wanted to give up. The nausea mixed with anxiety over the health of this baby were almost too much to bear. Now I am 18.5 weeks and feeling a whole lot better. I still feel a little apprehenzive to get attached to my little girl but with each week that passes I am falling more in love. Her due date is Valentines Day but according to my other births she'll probably come a couple weeks early.

Here is a little peak at our newest addition.

Well Hello There

Busy, Busy, Busy. That explains our last few months of life around here. I won't even attempt to catch this blog up. Here are a few pics though for your viewing pleasure.


Birthday dinner with the fam. I can't believe I am 30 years old! YIKES!


Natalie got her expander out. She gets her braces next week.


My little brother had a baby. She is absolutely perfect!


Trip to AZ to see cousins.


My sweet Grandma Marge passed away last month. She was an amazing woman and we miss her so much.


Between Cooper's baseball and Cody's t-ball we've pretty much been living at the baseball fields. It has been fun to watch our boys grow and develop their talent in baseball.


Eli has been an absolute angel lately. I thoroughly enjoy having all day, every day alone with him. He misses his siblings though, he can't wait for them to be home for the summer.

It's an Investment, Right?

I never knew that my 2 year experience as an orthodontic assistant would come in handy but it has. I noticed a couple years ago that Natalie had a crossbite and severe crowding. I knew we needed to get prepared to spend lots of time and money at the orthodontist office. After many visits to different offices around Albuquerque, I finally decided on the right doctor for Natalie. I couldn't be more happy with who we chose.


We started the long 18 month process last week. She got impressions done and she gets her expander on Friday. I'm not thrilled at this new phase of life but I know the outcome will be worth it, plus, Natalie is so excited!

What a SURPRISE?!

Eli made his first trip to the dentist. Talk about anxiety leading up to it. Not from Eli, from ME! I know Eli very well and if there is one thing I have learned it is that he is very UNPREDICTABLE. I never know how he is going to act! So naturally as I scheduled that appointment for him I was very nervous. To my surprise he did GREAT! No crying, no screaming, and no refusal. He was very cooperative. YAY to Eli!

I can't juggle

How does a mother juggle facebook, blogging, and a personal journal!?
When I'm doing good at one all the others get neglected.
Ugh to social networking.

Knowing When to Let Go

I share this very personal experience to hopefully help others out there that are struggling with the same thing.

The years 2009 and 2010 have been extremely difficult for me. I have experienced four miscarriages in which I lost five babies (set of twins) and enough heartache to last several lifetimes. I can honestly say I have hit rock bottom emotionally. I feel that the Lord is trying to teach me something through these experiences and no matter how hard I try to understand it I'm just not getting it.

My regular Ob/Gyn referred me to an infertility doctor in hopes that he could give me some answers. I met with him last week. The extensive testing he (fertility doc) would like to do is going to cost roughly around $2500, money we just don't have right now to devote to reproduction. He wants a hysteroscopy, chromosome testing, and other blood work. I don't feel desperate to conceive...yet. I don't feel like my birthing years are coming to an end and I'm running out of options. Six months ago I would have paid a million dollars to be given some answers as to why I have lost these babies but for some reason at this point in my life it just doesn't feel right. I don't want to do all these invasive procedures. If my body can't do it on its own then maybe I'm not meant to have another baby. So now we are left with the question: How much longer can we go through this? When is enough, enough and we let go of having another baby?

I feel like I need to exercise faith. Faith that my loving Heavenly Father knows whats best for me, faith that he will give me the strength to handle what comes my way. I know in my heart that if the Lord wanted me to have another child he would give me one.

Throughout these trying times I have not forgotten that I have 4 wonderful children. They have brought me such happiness and overwhelming joy. I love them more now than I ever have. I realize that bearing children is nothing short of a miracle. I truly took it for granted before. I have been blessed with an amazing husband who loves me unconditionally and is always looking out for my well-being. Many times he has offered his shoulder for me to cry on. I know he doesn't understand all this "woman stuff" as he calls it but he is really trying. I love him so much! Whatever comes our way in 2011 I hope that I can hold my family together and focus on the things that matter most to me.

Haught Christmas

Taylor and I have always traveled on Christmas in order to be with family. We loved spending Christmas with all our loved ones but it just too crazy and we weren't enjoying the true meaning of Christmas. So when Taylor's mom passed away in October (last year) we decided we were going to start the new tradition of staying home and celebrating Christmas with just our little family. At first I thought I would hate it! After all I am a lover of huge crowds and mass chaos. I have to admit that this year it was sooooo nice to just be home with our kids and enjoy them. We stayed in our pajamas ALL day, ate whatever we wanted, and had no commitments!
I love Christmas time. It is by far my favorite holiday! I love the baking, the lights, the smells, and of course the over crowded retail establishments.
We are so grateful for all of our many blessings. Healthy children, a home, a job, and of course our families. Hope you all had a great Christmas!

A few of our favorite gifts this year were:
Taylor- bullet tumbler
Steph- video camera
Cooper- air soft guns, Colts paraphernalia
Natalie- gumball machine, ipod
Cody- air soft guns, remote control car
Eli- racetrack, Alphie the robot

Pajamas from Grandma

The Tree on Christmas Eve

Opening the Playstation 3

The guns

Eli's new racetrack