September 2010

Our September started off horribly with losing another baby, but I am happy with the way it is ending. From baseball games, to piano, to hunting trips, and lots of family time I feel so grateful for my life. I am truly blessed! Here's what we've been up to.....

**Cooper- In the 4th grade. Continually excelling in school. He has a wonderful teacher and 8 other LDS kids in his class. He is such a great example to his younger siblings. Cooper is also playing baseball right now. He is really turning into a great athlete. He has been the starting pitcher in 3 of his games now. Taylor and I thoroughly enjoy watching him play.

**Natalie- In 2nd grade. How did I get so lucky with this girl?! I call her "my angel child". She is kind, sweet, loving, and so helpful with her younger brothers. She started taking piano lessons a few weeks ago and she totally loves it. I'm surprised at how fast she has picked it up. Right now she practices on a keyboard, but I guess its time to get a real piano for her. She'll be turning 8 years old in about a week and then getting baptized. I don't know where the time has gone.

**Cody- Oh CODY! This kid constantly cracks us up! He says the funniest things. Cody just turned 5 last month. He started kindergarten this year. I thought he would have a hard time adjusting, mostly because he is the youngest in his class, but he has surprised us. He loves school and loves his teacher! He is also playing t-ball right now. Let's just say he's very entertaining to watch. I love my Cody so much. He always has a hug and a kiss for me. I love that he still cuddles with me.

**Eli- Hmmmm, where do I start?! He runs the house. That's about all I can say. He is totally spoiled and it's all my fault. But I love him to bits and he is the baby of our family so that's what happens. We enjoy our time together alone every day while the kids are at school. Eli started a tumbling class a couple weeks ago. I can't say he loves it but I make him go because he needs the interaction with other kids.

That's our life right now. Busy, busy. I've been pretty consumed with getting pregnant and staying pregnant and I feel bad about that. I have a new found perspective on life right now. I am going to enjoy every minute that I have with the children I have been given and my sweet husband. Time flies by so fast. I feel so blessed to have my darling family.

Everyone goes through trials.......

I don't know how to cleverly start this post so I'm just gonna jump right into it.
The last couple of years, I have struggled with sustaining a pregnancy. Last year I lost 2 pregnancies both within the first 12 weeks. It was devastating and I thought for sure it wouldn't happen again...not to me anyways...I have 4 healthy children. I have never had complications.
In March of this year I got pregnant again. I found out very early. I was ecstatic!! From the beginning my symptoms were strong. I went for an ultrasound at 6 weeks. There we found out we were having TWINS!! They had heartbeats and looked extremely healthy. Taylor and I both cried, we were so happy. We hardly spoke as we left the office, we were in total shock! I thought to myself, "this is it, the pregnancy that is going to last!!" For a week straight I stared at the ultrasound pics, in awe of the thought that I could have twins. I had an ultrasound at 7 weeks, babies still looked good. My doctor thought he saw a third baby. We were on an emotional high! Finally I was going to be blessed for the trials I have been through. My doc sent me to a specialist a week later and we found out that both babies had passed away. No heartbeats were found. They quit growing at 7 weeks. I had to do a D&C the next day. My Doc did it in his office and I was awake during the whole procedure. I could hear and feel everything. It was by far the worst day of my life. I didn't think I could go on. I was heart broken to say the least. My doc ordered all types of blood work to try and find out why I'm losing my babies. No answers were found.
I mustered up the courage to try again. In July I found out I was pregnant. I was excited and nervous. I have never prayed so hard for something in my entire life. I begged and pleaded with the Lord to give me a healthy baby. The doc assured me that from a medical stand point everything looked great. I started taking progesterone supplements from the day I took the pregnancy test. I felt good about this pregnancy. I opted not to do any ultrasounds or blood work because it just made me get attached to something that could be ripped away so quickly. I had shared my news with some close friends of mine. It helped my anxiety knowing that other people were aware of what I was going through.
We went to AZ for a family wedding last Thursday (that's another post). I was about 6weeks pregnant. I started cramping and bleeding heavily on Saturday. I lost the baby on Sunday. Talk about horrible timing. I forced myself to wear a smile for the remainder of the weekend. I didn't think my heart could be broken again. I am so sad and confused.
Well, it's been 1 week since I lost my 5th baby. I never thought I would ever have to say that! I know that everyone goes through trials....for some reason that doesn't lighten my pain. Now I'm left to pick up my broken heart and keep moving forward. Thank goodness I have such an amazing hubby by my side.

Thanks Heidi

For viewing pleasure of the Grandparents......
**Special thanks to Heidi for taking these awesome pictures! You are sooooo talented!!