M.I.A......

I have survived the first few months of this pregnancy. At times I wanted to give up. The nausea mixed with anxiety over the health of this baby were almost too much to bear. Now I am 18.5 weeks and feeling a whole lot better. I still feel a little apprehenzive to get attached to my little girl but with each week that passes I am falling more in love. Her due date is Valentines Day but according to my other births she'll probably come a couple weeks early.

Here is a little peak at our newest addition.

Well Hello There

Busy, Busy, Busy. That explains our last few months of life around here. I won't even attempt to catch this blog up. Here are a few pics though for your viewing pleasure.


Birthday dinner with the fam. I can't believe I am 30 years old! YIKES!


Natalie got her expander out. She gets her braces next week.


My little brother had a baby. She is absolutely perfect!


Trip to AZ to see cousins.


My sweet Grandma Marge passed away last month. She was an amazing woman and we miss her so much.


Between Cooper's baseball and Cody's t-ball we've pretty much been living at the baseball fields. It has been fun to watch our boys grow and develop their talent in baseball.


Eli has been an absolute angel lately. I thoroughly enjoy having all day, every day alone with him. He misses his siblings though, he can't wait for them to be home for the summer.

It's an Investment, Right?

I never knew that my 2 year experience as an orthodontic assistant would come in handy but it has. I noticed a couple years ago that Natalie had a crossbite and severe crowding. I knew we needed to get prepared to spend lots of time and money at the orthodontist office. After many visits to different offices around Albuquerque, I finally decided on the right doctor for Natalie. I couldn't be more happy with who we chose.


We started the long 18 month process last week. She got impressions done and she gets her expander on Friday. I'm not thrilled at this new phase of life but I know the outcome will be worth it, plus, Natalie is so excited!

What a SURPRISE?!

Eli made his first trip to the dentist. Talk about anxiety leading up to it. Not from Eli, from ME! I know Eli very well and if there is one thing I have learned it is that he is very UNPREDICTABLE. I never know how he is going to act! So naturally as I scheduled that appointment for him I was very nervous. To my surprise he did GREAT! No crying, no screaming, and no refusal. He was very cooperative. YAY to Eli!

I can't juggle

How does a mother juggle facebook, blogging, and a personal journal!?
When I'm doing good at one all the others get neglected.
Ugh to social networking.

Knowing When to Let Go

I share this very personal experience to hopefully help others out there that are struggling with the same thing.

The years 2009 and 2010 have been extremely difficult for me. I have experienced four miscarriages in which I lost five babies (set of twins) and enough heartache to last several lifetimes. I can honestly say I have hit rock bottom emotionally. I feel that the Lord is trying to teach me something through these experiences and no matter how hard I try to understand it I'm just not getting it.

My regular Ob/Gyn referred me to an infertility doctor in hopes that he could give me some answers. I met with him last week. The extensive testing he (fertility doc) would like to do is going to cost roughly around $2500, money we just don't have right now to devote to reproduction. He wants a hysteroscopy, chromosome testing, and other blood work. I don't feel desperate to conceive...yet. I don't feel like my birthing years are coming to an end and I'm running out of options. Six months ago I would have paid a million dollars to be given some answers as to why I have lost these babies but for some reason at this point in my life it just doesn't feel right. I don't want to do all these invasive procedures. If my body can't do it on its own then maybe I'm not meant to have another baby. So now we are left with the question: How much longer can we go through this? When is enough, enough and we let go of having another baby?

I feel like I need to exercise faith. Faith that my loving Heavenly Father knows whats best for me, faith that he will give me the strength to handle what comes my way. I know in my heart that if the Lord wanted me to have another child he would give me one.

Throughout these trying times I have not forgotten that I have 4 wonderful children. They have brought me such happiness and overwhelming joy. I love them more now than I ever have. I realize that bearing children is nothing short of a miracle. I truly took it for granted before. I have been blessed with an amazing husband who loves me unconditionally and is always looking out for my well-being. Many times he has offered his shoulder for me to cry on. I know he doesn't understand all this "woman stuff" as he calls it but he is really trying. I love him so much! Whatever comes our way in 2011 I hope that I can hold my family together and focus on the things that matter most to me.

Haught Christmas

Taylor and I have always traveled on Christmas in order to be with family. We loved spending Christmas with all our loved ones but it just too crazy and we weren't enjoying the true meaning of Christmas. So when Taylor's mom passed away in October (last year) we decided we were going to start the new tradition of staying home and celebrating Christmas with just our little family. At first I thought I would hate it! After all I am a lover of huge crowds and mass chaos. I have to admit that this year it was sooooo nice to just be home with our kids and enjoy them. We stayed in our pajamas ALL day, ate whatever we wanted, and had no commitments!
I love Christmas time. It is by far my favorite holiday! I love the baking, the lights, the smells, and of course the over crowded retail establishments.
We are so grateful for all of our many blessings. Healthy children, a home, a job, and of course our families. Hope you all had a great Christmas!

A few of our favorite gifts this year were:
Taylor- bullet tumbler
Steph- video camera
Cooper- air soft guns, Colts paraphernalia
Natalie- gumball machine, ipod
Cody- air soft guns, remote control car
Eli- racetrack, Alphie the robot

Pajamas from Grandma

The Tree on Christmas Eve

Opening the Playstation 3

The guns

Eli's new racetrack

Hospital Stay

My younger sister, Marlene, has twin boys, Josh and Tyler. They are 11 months old and hands down the cutest kids I have ever seen. The boys have been sick for quite some time, things like runny noses, ear infections, diarrhea....typical toddler stuff. They also have some feeding issues and it seemed to had gotten progressively worse. The had lost some weightt, acting lethargic, and were dehydrated. Marlene took them to the doctor on Friday morning. The doctor was pretty concerned about their condition so he sent them to the hospital.
When I got news that they were being admitted to the hospital and would be there for a few days I immediately booked a flight and left Friday afternoon to help. I have been in the hospital before with a baby and I just couldn't imagine Marlene trying to care for twins all by herself.
After running some tests and experimenting with different formula, the boys are now on a strict diet of just formula, rice cereal and very bland crackers. They can't have any baby food, table food, or dairy. The docs are hoping that this will help with the boys' discomforts and help them want to start eating again.
I really enjoyed my time with Marlene and her boys. I especially enjoyed the snuggle time! They are so sweet! I am also so grateful to have Taylor be so supportive. He was very willing to watch our kiddos so that I could run off and be a big sister.
Josh and Tyler were discharged on Monday evening. They have gotten their appetites back and hopefully will continue growing on a steady basis.

Tyler sleeping with me


Josh not wanting to sleep




When the boys started feeling better, it was hard to keep them busy/occupied.
Trying to keep busy

A Big Snow Storm

I am starting to get used to and maybe even enjoy (although I hate to admit it)having the cold winters here in New Mexico. I love experiencing the peacefulness of falling snow. I may be crazy, but I even love driving in it!
Last Thursday we had a huge snow storm move into Albuquerque. My kids didn't have school Friday so they really enjoyed playing outside all day. We built snow men, made snow angels, and Cooper even shoveled off my driveway. What a nice boy!!

Christmas Tree

December 4th, 2010
We went up to the Jemez Mountains to cut down a Christmas tree. It was actually very warm and not a lot of snow on the ground. We took our time searching for the perfect tree. I was too busy to take any pictures but after we got our tree and 3 others (for friends) we stopped at a little cafe and got some hot chocolate. This has become such a fun tradition.





This is the kids little tree that they picked out. For some reason I didn't get a pic of our big tree.

Eli, Eli, Eli

Do they have therapists for 3 year olds?! I'm not joking when I say that he may need some kind of bipolar medication!

Taylor and I have been engaging in quite a few conversations regarding our 3 year old, Eli. Anybody that knows him, knows that he can be a handful. He is a frequent topic of our prayers at night, seems trivial but I don't know who else to turn to. I know that Lord sent him to us for a reason but at times I feel extremely under qualified.
He has the same parents as our other children, raised in the same house, has the same rules, but he challenges EVERYTHING! Needless to say, I am exhausted. I love him so much and while he can be so hard, he can flip a switch and be a loving, kind, gentle, little boy. How can you ever be mad at this adorable face?!

November Happenings

*We finally got our front yard done. It was such a huge project to remove our old landscape and replace it with grass. I'm so grateful for my hubby and all his hard work!


*This year we went to AZ for Thanksgiving. Natalie had a blast playing, holding, and feeding the twins, Josh and Tyler. I love those boys to pieces.


*I was lucky enough to have Josh fall asleep on me. He just melts my heart.


*Cody and Eli enjoyed cuddling with Papa and reading books.


*Grandma spent most of the week in the kitchen. Natalie was right by her side most of the time making sure everything was tasting good.


*The day after Thanksgiving we canned flour and sugar. This was a lot of fun working together as a family. I think it has become a new Thanksgiving tradition.


*A few days ago Taylor built a firepit in our backyard. It has been so nice to spend time together as a family outside whether we're roasting marshmellows, hot dogs or just chatting around the fire. The kids have really enjoyed it.

Could be Worse.......

A father passing by his son's bedroom
was astonished to see that his bed was nicely
made and everything was picked up. Then he saw an
envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow
that was addressed to 'Dad.'

With the worst premonition he opened the envelope
with trembling hands and read the letter.

Dear Dad:

It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you.
I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted
to avoid a scene with Mom and you.

I have been finding real passion with Stacy and she is so nice.

But I knew you would not approve of her because of all her
piercing, tattoos, tight motorcycle clothes and the fact that
she is much older than I am.

But it's not only the passion... Dad she's pregnant.

Stacy said that we will be very happy.
She owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for
the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children.

Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone.

We'll be growing it for ourselves and trading it with the
other people that live nearby for cocaine and ecstasy.

In the meantime we will pray that science will find a cure for
AIDS so Stacy can get better. She deserves it.

Don't worry Dad. I'm 15 and I know how to take care of myself.

Someday I'm sure that we will be back to visit so
that you can get to know your grandchildren.

Love,
Your Son John

P.S. Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at Tommy's house.

I Just wanted to remind you that there are worse things
in life than a report card. That's in my center desk drawer.
I love you.

Call me when it's safe to come home.

Family Time

We are so grateful to have Taylor back full time. I have to admit that life is a whole lot easier with a second pair of hands around here. We were really needing some family time so we took the kids bowling. Always an adventure with our kids. Haha.






We were on our last frame and getting ready to leave when another family started setting up in the lane next to us. We asked the husband if he could take a picture of our family all together. He of course said yes. After the picture was taken we realized who had taken it. It was Steve Stucker, the weatherman and coanchor on KOB.
How random that he would be next to us at the bowling alley!!